A Criminal Lawyer in a Cocktail Party and MORE!

A Criminal Lawyer in a Cocktail Party

A Criminal Lawyer met his Surgery Doctor friend in a cocktail party. A man approached the doctor and consulted him regarding a surgery that didn't go very well the year before.

The impatient doctor answered him quickly. He then asked his criminal lawyer friend, "How do you usually react when people ask you for a consultation during a social event?"

"Well, that's simple," said the criminal lawyer, "I send them the bill in the morning."

On the next day, the Surgery Doctor hurried to his office to prepare the $50 bill for the man who had approached him at the party. On his desk lay a $100 bill from the criminal lawyer.


Immigration Lawyers' Club

A group of crooks decided to break in to a lawyers' club. The old Immigration Lawyers fought for their life and their money. The crooks were happy to leave the place intact and escape the fight.

"We're not that bad off," one of the thieves commented. "We have $35 between the lot of us."

The eldest thief screamed in desperation, "We had $1,000 when we went in the club!"


A Beginning Defense Attorney

A Beginning defense attorney took over his father's practice. One night, he came home happy as ever with some good news for his father.

“Dad, you'll never guess!,” he said, “I’ve settled for once and for all that old Stanley case.”“Settled it!” cried his desperate defense attorney dad. “Why, that was a case I left you as an annuity for life.”


A Defense Lawyer's Choice

On his death bed, a rich old man decided he wanted to take his money with him. He called the three people he had trusted most during his lifetime: his priest, his doctor and his defense lawyer. Here's $3 million. I want each of you to hold on to $1 million and put it in my coffin when I go. I want to take all my money with me."

After the funeral ceremony, each one of the three men put a package in the coffin next to the dead man. As they were saying good bye to each other, the priest, unable to hold the shame and guilt any longer, said, "I must confess, "I put only $800,000 in the coffin. I need to renew the loft in the church".

"I, too, must confess, priest," said the doctor, "I left the man $500,000, since I really need to redecorate my office and get some new equipment."

The defense lawyer was surprised at the two, and said, "The two of you disappoint me." I put the whole $1 million in the coffin, but made myself a personal check for the service for a full $1 million!"


Personal Injury Lawyers are guilty for all of America's problems

In a cocktail party, a group of people were discussing the problems of America and blaming Personal Injury Lawyers for them. One man said, "I don't think they are so bad. I got $2,500 from my Personal Injury Lawyer," he claimed.

"Impossible!" said the crowd.

"Well, that is exactly what happened," said the man. "I suffered a personal injury case. My bill amounted to $120,000 with the lawyer's fee, the witnesses, testimonials and all. When the judge declared that I deserved $122,500, my Personal Injury Lawyer simply game me the difference."