Personal Injury Lawyer

Personal Injury Lawyer in a brain store

A Personal Injury Lawyer went to a store that sells brains.
He wanted to check a personal hypothesis. After reading a sign in the store regarding the quality of brains offered, he decides to inquire the prices of the different brains available.

"How much does a doctor's brain cost?" He asks the butcher.
"Five dollars the kilo."
"How about a waitress's brain?"
"Three bucks the kilo."
"And for a personal Injury lawyer's brain?"
"$1,000 dollars the kilo."
"Why so much?" Asks the confused lawyer.
"Well, you have no idea how many personal injuries we've had to kill to put together one kilo."


How Immigration Lawyers Do it…

Immigration Lawyers do it with taste.
Immigration Lawyers do it with high self-esteem.
Immigration Lawyers do it to get to the trial.
Immigration Lawyers do it for justice's sake.
Immigration Lawyers do it for however long there is money behind the deal.
Immigration Lawyers do it for as long as it's legal.


Satan visited a lawyer.

Satan visited a lawyer. He was interested in making him a special lawyers' offer. "If you're willing to give me one major thing, I can arrange a very special deal for you. I can multiply your income by five or even six. This way, everybody will adore you, look up to you, respect you. You'll be able to take as much vacation as you wish. Nobody will ever call you a lying, cheating lawyer ever again."

"And what do you need in return?" Asked the eager lawyer.

"In return I need your wife's soul, as well as your children's and their children's. Their souls must prevail in hell for ever and ever."

After pausing a moment, the lawyer asked, confused, "What's the catch?"


Criminal Attorney Question

What is a Criminal Attorney? Redundancy.


Tax Attorneys in Accidents

Did you hear about the Tax Attorney who was involved in a terrible accident?

An ambulance stopped suddenly.


Personal injury attorneys to change a light bulb

How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb? Three--one to turn the bulb, one to shake the ladder and make sure the first one falls, and the third to sue the light bulb company. The first personal injury attorney will then make sure to sue the ladder company, as well.


Divorce Law

Did you hear they are now selling a new children's doll called "Divorced Barbie"? Yeah, it comes with a Divorce Lawyer and two thirds of Ken's property and alimony.


A defense attorney was driving his amazing new Volvo

A Defense Attorney was driving his amazing, shining new Volvo. He was singing "I adore my Volvo, I adore my Volvo, I adore my Volvo." Not looking at the street, he ran into a tree. Surprisingly, the Defense Attorney survived, but his Volvo was a wreck. He cried, "My Volvo, My Volvo!!"

A man who was just walking by hurried to help him out. He said, "Sir, let me help you, you're bleeding. Oh, your right arm is gone!"

The Defense attorney, hysterical, yelled, "My Golden Rolex, My Golden Rolex!!